expression

lacking substance

for the last almost-2-weeks, i’ve made it my goal to write something on these pages every day. admittedly, they haven’t always been substantive, but there has always been something. i did preemptively and explicitly reserve the right to lack depth, but i don’t intend to always do so.

i guess the question is, why am i filling these pages day after day?

perhaps i’m still figuring out exactly what the answer to that question is. when i started, i claimed it was, in part, to improve my notetaking & organization. i don’t think i was wrong, but this is also a very different kind of notetaking (so far) compared to scientific notetaking. rather, as the graph of my mind and notes develops, i’m finding this a good way to exercise a bit of creativity and think critically about my own thinking. while i get set up, perhaps i lean more on the prior.

still lacking substance

i don’t want to fall into the cliché of “opposites attract”, but undoubtedly, i am a “tech bro”¹. despite that (or maybe because of it), i find myself drawn to artistic people. it’s why i date digital designers, writers, potters, …

but though i seem to succeed in surrounding myself with those more artistically-minded than me, i haven’t yet succeeded in osmosing their ways of thinking. art and expression is like a foreign language to me, and sitting down here and intentionally trying to plot a route through the fog is a valuable exercise.

but not lacking effort

i (and to some extent, my parents) shaped my childhood around stem. math and structure is what came naturally to me, and it was easy to avoid being creative (even my high school enabled me by considering rowing and engineering an art).

i’m no longer trying avoid it. creative writing, music theory/production, reading fiction… i’m treating this time period as my own personal renaissance. but try as i might to comic-fy these notes and add an extra bit of je ne sais quoi, i can’t find my source of inspiration.

nonetheless, i will continue to put in the effort. despite this being a github project that i half-code/half-write, it’s still an intentionally creative endeavour, and a learning experience.