sawtooth

6π

it’s no secret that home is on my mind of late. whether that home is yvr or otherwise, that home requires attachment.

attachment requires time, and historically my $\text{effort}=\cos (time+\pi )+1$. effort. stability. disruption. effort. stability again.

137 days

it seems that connection is just the additive synthesis of effort over time. $\text{connection}(\text{time})=2(\text{time}-\lfloor \text{time}+\frac{1}{2}\rfloor ),\text{time}-\frac{1}{2}\notin \mathbb{Z}$. so perhaps it’s no surprise that the cliff is so harsh.

it begs the question: is it the contrast i feel more than the detachment itself? i hadn’t considered it until just now, but it seems like it tracks.

when i left shawnigan lake for waterloo, it took me about 150 days to start to put down roots. when my person (my home) left me in waterloo and i left waterloo for yvr, it took me about 250.

if you factor in that vancouver was the closest i’ve felt to a home, that math is not encouraging.

the inflection point

i’m over the cliff. but maybe i’m not at the inflection point. maybe there’s a magical place. a crazy person who makes this crazy place just a little more homey.

maybe.