sawtooth

6π

it’s no secret that home is on my mind of late. whether that home is yvr or otherwise, that home requires attachment.

attachment requires time, and historically my \(\text{effort} = \cos(time + \pi) + 1\). effort. stability. disruption. effort. stability again.

137 days

it seems that connection is just the additive synthesis of effort over time. \(\text{connection}(\text{time}) = 2 \left(\text{time} - \left\lfloor \text{time} + {\tfrac{1}{2}} \right\rfloor \right), \text{time} - {\tfrac{1}{2}} \notin \mathbb{Z}\). so perhaps it’s no surprise that the cliff is so harsh.

it begs the question: is it the contrast i feel more than the detachment itself? i hadn’t considered it until just now, but it seems like it tracks.

when i left shawnigan lake for waterloo, it took me about 150 days to start to put down roots. when my person (my home) left me in waterloo and i left waterloo for yvr, it took me about 250.

if you factor in that vancouver was the closest i’ve felt to a home, that math is not encouraging.

the inflection point

i’m over the cliff. but maybe i’m not at the inflection point. maybe there’s a magical place. a crazy person who makes this crazy place just a little more homey.

maybe.